Mormor

My grandma is gone.  My beautiful, wonderful, strong and amazing grandmother has left this life.  At 94, she was the most incredible person I have ever met and I can only hope to be a fraction of what she was as a person.

She never judged, she never failed, she never lost her dignity over anything.  She was and will always be in my eyes, a role model.

She accepted everything that came her way with a strong back, a good heart and a smile. Even after so many losses in life, she found peace in her home and in her heart.

I look at my life and I wonder if I could even try to come close to what she was.  It's funny how when people leave us we realize what they meant more so than ever before.  We always think, even when they are aging, that they will always be around.

In a way, she always will be.  In my heart, in my memories and now also in the wonderful things that fit in my suitcase as I travelled back to my home. 

Her passing has changed me.  I want different things in life now.  I want to grow and continue to strive for what she accomplished.  She may have been a very lonely woman in her old days, but she never ever gave up on anything or anyone. No matter what had happened in the past.  The past was just that, something you thought up but didn't dwell upon.

She was proud.  Sometimes to her detriment but never too proud to cry when she was overwhelmed by emotions.  She knew so much and yet so little.  With her we, those left behind, have lost a generation of knowledge.  These are the things I will regret always.  To not have spent days baking with her, gardening with her, cooking with her...but at the same time, I had the most wonderful childhood and grew up right next door to her and got to experience most of these things as a child. My memories and perhaps also my genes, will guide me forward.