Hearts

My first real post will be about hearts. I think because of what my heart is telling me these days, and because it's such an incredibly powerful organ. We talk about heart's content, the beating heart, the heartache, sweethearts, heart failure and I heart yous. My heart beats for so many people, and for that I am proud and it makes me feel alive. It beats for my little Emma, who brings me so much joy and laughter. She makes my heart swell and my cup runneth over with love. It beats for my husband, who never waivers in his support, who never ever stops loving me no matter what. I am at peace in that knowledge. It beats for a great family, amazing friends, ex-lovers, old flames, departed souls and most of all, it beats for me. I've always known I am a hopeless romantic, a passionate soul who sometimes get caught up in emotions that are strong and that carry me away on dreams that have no ending, or on dreams that take me to places I thought I had let go of. What I didn't know, and what I have discovered, is how incredible it feels to really understand your heart and not fight what's in it. To open it up to people that are willing to accept it, just the way it is...a bit battered, a bit frayed and a bit weathered, but all that makes my heart stronger and make me able to love more. To have that little extra to give, that little extra space for that soul who desperately needs it and because my heart says so and loves without question.

I've had my share of heartaches, but with every ache I've learned to embrace the bad and instead of closing my heart in, I've let it grow with the pain. I am no angel, far from it, perhaps a dark one at times, but my heart holds many souls and it will continue to do so. In the nooks and crannies of my heart, there are people who have passed through my life, sometimes briefly, but have in one way or another impacted my life in a way that can only be described as heart worthy. These souls are forever imprinted on the walls of my heart.

It sounds messed up, I know...like a song, like a poem, like something out of a corny love story...It's ok, I don't mind. The truth is, and I know it well, is that I am a romantic fool, a complete geek when it comes to feeling like a teenager in love. When that heart beats an extra beat, when it skips and jumps because someone just happened to smile a certain way. Those are the moments I carry in my heart, that's where I go when I am sad. I find peace in digging out those moments of pure joy, when nothing else mattered except that moment and I could have let go of everything. Or when Emma says "I love you too mommy", and my heart grows to double it's size in my chest and my eyes water. Those moments are heart moments.

So, take good care of your heart...let it be what it is, trust it and it will guide you, never let it be broken, learn from its ups and downs and find peace in knowing that it is bigger than you think, can hold more than you will ever know...

Writing

I wanted to start writing. I found these old books of mine where I kept notes and although I didn't write every day, I wrote more often than not. It's been over a decade since that time...it's time to start writing again.

I have too many thoughts in my head that would probably ease my brain working on overload. What better way than to just type it all out...I don't think I even care if anyone reads it, or comment on it. What I would care about, is if I in any way inspired someone from anything that I wrote, or if I in some way helped someone by keeping this blog going.

I have no objective, I have no goal. Whatever comes of this blog will be for me only, and to be read by those who care. I can foresee that sometimes there will be fun posts, sometimes there will be sad posts, they will be deep or very light in content.

I'll enjoy it, that I'll know for sure.

Shall we start then?